personal

All posts tagged personal

When all Signs Point to Adderall (Signs and Tips for the Parents of an Adderall Abuser)

Published May 22, 2013 by lindseymeetsworld

When all Signs Point to Adderall (Signs and Tips for the Parents of an Adderall Abuser).

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Just found this old “note” on my iphone

Published February 24, 2013 by lindseymeetsworld

I was going through my “notes” app and discovered this. I love to write, and when I get a thought, I jot it down. As a recovering addict, it is strange to read my clouded thoughts from the past.

~The Most Interesting Person Ive Never Met~

I want to blame my life. So many dark days haunt my mind, my soul. And as much as I wish they weren’t there, in a twisted way I am glad. Glad I have something to blame.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” they ask.

I respond in my mind “Do you know how ugly I am beyond what you see?”

“Whats it like to be so beautiful?” they ask

I look them strait in the eye and I truthfully respond, “Its a curse.” That usually shocks them. Not much of anything shocks me anymore.

I am the most interesting person Ive never met.

And in one fateful moment I realize: I can’t blame them. I blame ME.

For once, I blame ME.

I dont know what tomorrow will be like. I do know I’ll wake up weak, sometime throughout the day I will probably throw up, I’ll shake. Someday I will die like the rest of those like me, maybe sooner than usual. But I wonder: Will I EVER get a chance to meet me?

Sincerely,

I Dont Know