Most non addicts, just like non smokers, think “Why don’t you just stop?”. I find these people to be so ignorant.
It’s easy to think that getting off of drugs is as simple as getting through a detox. WRONG!!!!
As someone who has experienced this, I can honestly say that detox was a BREEZE compared to what I had to face mentally. No one ever told me about this mental aspect of recovery, I never read about it in any books or forums. It was a total surprise for me. So much so that when I know, or am helping, someone getting clean I make sure to warn them what they are about to encounter.
How stupid was I though??? As an opiate addict, my endorphins were fried, my seretonin and oxytocin levels were fried…..common sense would tell me that this is all a recipe for disaster.
At about day 21, I had what I call a “Psychotic Break”. Every person I had ever wronged, lied to, stole from, every relationship that had gone bad because of me was haunting me….literally. At night I would dream of these people, during the day I cried ALOT. My mind raced a million thoughts, I was FULL of guilt, and I just felt like I was loosing it. I had moments of EXTREME rage, and for about 2 days I rocked back n forth screaming for my boyfriend to call someone….I wanted to kill myself, I mean, I SERIOUSLY considered it.
Eventually this did pass. But then the sensitivity kicked in. For about 3 weeks I cried over almost everything and anything.
I wonder if people purposely don’t warn us addicts about this in fear that it may scare us from recovering??